On Cheating

“What do you think about cheating in a relationship?” someone asked me. This is gonna be a long one.

I think that.. it happens because weak people succumb to their weak moments. i think it happens because people are destructive and because they want it all. I think it’s a phase but not something you’ll necessarily go through. I don’t think it’s possible to love two people at the same time without loving one more than the other. For one, I think that although this may happen, you should always go for the one you love more and concentrate on making that person the only one without ever going against his or her back.

Although i believe that some people love some people enough to believe that men will be men and it really happens, cheating for me is a character defect: a momentary weakness that eventually becomes a choice. It’s not a mistake and never an accident after the first one. Or maybe not even an accident at all unless you’re both fucked and drunk to hell with no one else to hook up with. It’s a fucking choice. It’s defying your morale (or maybe not if you don’t have one) or letting your emotions get the best of you. If there’s one thing you should always remember, it’s not emotions you should always prioritize.

This is a sensitive topic because i’m sure many can relate to it. But to those who are well on their way to making this choice, back up! Think of what you’re going to lose. It should be enough to stop your soon-to-be dirty deed. Or if you really didn’t have enough will power to not let it happen, say it outright. IMMEDIATELY. It better come from you otherwise the skies are dark.

I hate cheaters most of all. Contrary to Jace Herondale, (in reference to a novel by Cassandra Clare) to love is NOT to destroy. They deserve to be dumped and they deserve to be alone. But i hope one day they find their place even when they have none in my life. Everyone deserves happiness and love after all.

And a little advice for all the girls and boys who got cheated on? Let your heart tell you what to do first and along the way, your mind will eventually help you realize what you’re supposed to do. When that happens, have faith and patience. Faith to trust that it’s going to work out whether you decide to part ways or not and patience for when you decide to break it up. And always remember: that cheater is not the last guy on earth. That cheater is not the last girl on earth.

 

“What did you do when someone cheated on you?” someone asked me again.

I assumed the good and doubted the bad. When it backfired, i guess nothing hurt more.

Either way, I gave another chance because i believe in love and that you should always give it one more chance.. and always one more chance. You know what they say? They say that when you’ve found the one, you always give them a million chances to make it right.

Maybe clinging to a good old relationship would be the initial reaction but after seeing how severed the original connection had been, it’s only rational to put the glass down. It became so heavy it didnt even matter to me anymore be it half empty or half full. It was causing too much discomfort that the only thing that made sense then was to let it all go.

 

“How does it feel to be betrayed?” someone will ask me, i just know.

It feels harsh. It’s as if the rug gets pulled from beneath your feet. Your walls shatter, the floor crumbles. Okay that’s a tad bit too much. Maybe it’s just gonna be you getting caught off guard and in that moment, you don’t even know how to feel. The color rises to your cheeks as the rushing blood to your head gives you a headache. Your heart thumps a little louder and faster and the cold seeping through your fingers and toes and will settle there slowly making its way to your heart. It’s as if getting sad won’t do it, going ape is a little too overboard, being angry is understandable and your heart is just there beating loudly in your chest. So you just sit there fuming over the bad things and letting the oxygen and carbon dioxide run its natural course throughout your body. Your love will start to transform to hate or maybe you’ll go through the five stages of grief. But damn girl, nobody died. You just got betrayed. Okay maybe your trust did and it brought with it a pinch of your confidence. Well whatever. I just want you to know, you’re gonna get over the deed, not immediately rather eventually, but you’re never gonna feel the same way for the person again.

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