Primarily, it’s not about what’s been said and done but how you stand tall midst all the dust and ruins. From where I’m standing, you crumbled down with the main columns. You stayed there and let the decomposing happen, let every microorganism feast on you the way no woman would ever voluntarily place herself.
Summer 2013. It was perfect. The way you met him.. immediately, your boring days turned fun and exciting. Your mediocre life had an upgrade. He was sweet, good-looking, pleasant and tall. He said the right words exactly at moments when you needed them most. He was the right amount of everything any girl could hope for. You feel like you’re on cloud nine. Purely unbelievable how lucky you are, so right there and then, you fall instantly. You fell hard. You fell for his vulnerability, his sadness and his empty heart. You fell for him entirely and you loved every moment of it.
One month. That was all it took for the world to shatter right before your very eyes. You couldn’t understand. You couldn’t believe why, where it went wrong and of all people, why you.
You’re never gonna admit how much of a fool you were, how you got blinded by his good looks and how you never even bothered to know the real him. You’re never gonna admit how you got played, how utterly stupid you were and how you lost your soul when he broke up with you that day. You’re never gonna admit all the dirty tricks you played, how you lowered yourself just to make him go back to you and how you ended up still on the losing side. You’re never gonna tell people how he broke every breakable piece of your heart, how every early morning and late night thoughts consisted of him. You’re never gonna admit that every shot of alcohol or every night out was so you could forget. How every party was hoping you could make him care, hoping he’d come back to you or so you could meet new people who would never make for half the man he was in your life. You’re never going to get over the fact that he used you to get another girl, how he didn’t choose you when you’d choose him over everyone else, how he left you on your own even after all the promises, the late night talks and the commitment and the sincerity that ended up being lies after all.
You will never understand what she has that you don’t. But if there’s one thing that you need to know, it’s not what she has that you don’t. You can never turn lust to love and you can never plead people to stay. Let them walk away if they must. Let them leave if it’s not you they’re going to be happy with. Let them go if they love someone else. And let them be if they’re happy with another girl.
He hurt you bad. Really bad. And there’s nothing more in the world you’d like to see than for the him and the girl to suffer. There’s nothing more in the world that would make you more happy than to see them apart, hurt and broken. But you know what? Whatever you do, whatever you say, you’re still gonna be the girl he used, the one he left for another and the one he never really truly loved at all. You’re gonna be the lust, not the love and no matter how much you wish for things to be different, there’s nothing more you can do.
But there is one thing though.. you can always move on. Guess that’s one thing you find really hard to do seeing that it’s been many months and you’re still not over it. Miss, you’re really funny. You need to learn how to grow up. Your parents wouldn’t be so happy hearing that people from the same course as you call you “spawn of satan” because they say you’re a “bitch.” You wouldn’t want to know how your so-called “friends” call you “indecent,” how they wouldn’t even be surprised if you get knocked up and how they really don’t like you at all. They call you a slut and i wouldn’t be the one to say that they’re not really your friends at all. But there it goes.
AND nothing hurts more, right?
Purely hilarious the hate you got there for me. I hear it everywhere. Want me killed? From the looks of it, you’re all talk. What are you so bitter about? You couldn’t believe you got used? You couldn’t believe the guy you loved only got together with you just for the sake of it? You couldn’t believe you got fooled by all his lies? But sweetie, it all boils down to you. None of the above would have happened had you not let it to.
Continue with your short skirt and high heels and that walk as if you feel like every man would stare at your nonexistent gluteus. Only boys will for that, sweetie. You’re attracting the wrong kind of people. And when you do, you’re not giving the right one a chance to catch you. Don’t expect to meet the man of your life at bars or over alcohol. He’s not there. Trust me. I didn’t steal anyone, just that there are loves that go beyond rebounds and btchs. I played nowhere near dirty the way you did. And you don’t have to tell everyone I’m ugly, fat and just white. We both know the truth. LOL.