From an LCTS procedure

Be led by your dreams.

AND definitely not by your problems. Those problems are there only as long as you delay the solving. Once it’s gone, where do you hold on to?

Don’t study because you’re already failing. Study because you’ve got a dream and a responsibility to fulfill. As a college student, there’s no room for failure. You ain’t in high school anymore. The work you do now is for your future. Knowing what you’re supposed to do and when to do it can’t be taught. You’ve just gotta listen and learn. It’s your duty to your clients. You owe it to them and to the invisible pact you made when you decided to become a part of what ever you’re a part of.  The medical field is a crucial place to be in. You don’t deal with numbers or materials that make up the social world. You deal with ACTUAL LIVES of the people who make up the world.

Another Friday duty at JJASGH delivery room (DR)! Ha. I remember my first DR duty at EAMC and how much I was clinging to the profession of my dreams.

January 24, 2014 – the first time I saw a live low transverse cesarean section. The condition was abruptio placenta which had, lucky for me, just been discussed in our obstetrics nursing subject the earlier parts of the week.

It was the coolest thing I have ever seen. With the use of a scalpel, it was as if a vagina-like hole was opened just below the umbilicus. The layers the surgeon had to cut into were many. From skin to fat to organ and the other stuff in between that I need not to mention. From where I was standing, I saw a pre-term life brought out to the world. It may not be a splendid sight for some but to me, an operating room is where I’d want to spend the rest of my life. I just couldn’t look away. I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath for too long.

The mechanical beeping of a heartbeat was music to my ears. The drape made it seem to me like some art project or some dissection activity in Biology class. I looked intently as the doctor pulled the baby out head first. I was looking hard at all the blood. The number of metal instruments was overwhelming and the OS was just purely soaked red. Whether I was  the one doing all the saving or the one doing all the assisting, I don’t care but I just want to be there.

Seeing that procedure made me more inspired than ever. Inspired to pursue my dreams, to not doubt and to believe in myself. Inspired to plan my future and stick with it. And smart enough to rule out OB as my future field. Why? Because they say obstetrics fit in a box. All the conditions are there, the drugs are countable and all other complications are referred to other areas. We always say before going to the delivery room: everyday is vagina day! The primary reason is I wouldn’t wanna be stuck staring at vagina-s all day AND women are complicated. So, NO. Haha.  I’m not that emotional. I wouldn’t make a fuss out of bringing a life into the world, holding the tiny baby in my hands, clamping his or her cord and making sure he or she lives. It’s all done for.

I want hearts and blood and vessels. I want the circulatory system, the pumping system. I want every part of it. How it makes you breath, how it transports your nutrients, your strength and all the other chemicals in between. I want to make you live. Remember my name.

So every time my course drains the brain cells outta me and I feel like giving up, I’ll be rereading this post with the longing that someday these hands are gonna be for curing. It’s gonna be my little reminder. I’m gonna remember all my dreams and aspirations, the things I fight for and those that I believe in.

SO, again to the FAQ:

Why nursing?

The phrase I hate most after this question is uttered is “Sayang ka.”

Here’s the answer: Pre-med course. Know what.. it’s a course NOBODY should even ever question why. Those who belittle nursing surely do not know the importance of the said course. I pray for your soul. You don’t know half the things we go through. If you were in our place, you’d give up the first day. Please do yourself a favor and do research. Ignorance is no excuse and it’s no bliss. 

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